Preparation for the Wilderness - Part II

It seems like yesterday when the Holy Spirit tried to get my attention to lead me into the Wilderness. It all started in 2006 when I was trying to find a church that would be a good fit for me, but I wasn't having good success. Like a little lost sheep I was wondering here, there, and some of everywhere, but no place felt like home.

After a negative experience at my previous church, I decided to stop attending. The conflict arose due to my disagreement with the Pastor's wife regarding tithing. Instead of giving me a chance to explain my beliefs, she dismissed me without hearing me out. I believe in "Giving," as taught by Rabbi Paul. If she had taken the time to review the church financial records, she would have seen that I consistently gave more than the required ten percent.

Since my experience at that church was so traumatic, I decided to leave the church, stay home, and spend quality time with the Father. When I began to pray about my recent church-hurt encounter, the Holy Spirit began to speak to my spirit. As I was praying, these words started resonating in my mind. "So far away doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore, it would be so kind to see your face at my door, doesn't help to know you're just time away."  

I thought I was hearing things, so I paused and pondered what I heard. Then, I pushed the words to the back of my mind and started praying again, but the words returned to my spirit. "So far away doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore, it would be so kind to see your face at my door, doesn't help to know you're just time away."  Immediately, I thought, wait, this is an old Carole King song I used to sing back in the early 80s. And then everything stopped, and I could sense what the Holy Spirit was saying. 

I was far away from the Father. Abba was right there, but I was missing Him because I was looking for Him in a building and NOT in the Temple of my heart. I wept like a baby and felt so sad that I had disappointed my heavenly Father. 

Through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I realized that I had been focusing more on a human being than on the eternal MAN, Jesus Christ (Yeshua Messiah). Even though I thought I was doing the right thing, my heart was not in the right place because I was more concerned about pleasing men instead of pleasing the Father. I placed more importance on following and obeying the Pastor than following and obeying the Master. Furthermore, instead of studying the Holy Scriptures, I relied on the Pastor to teach me the Word of God.

Thankfully, the Father knew my heart and understood I needed to come into His pasture, but before I could come into His pasture, I needed to go into the Wilderness to learn lessons and the truth about the Kingdom of God. So, the Holy Spirit led me to discover my Hebraic Roots. The Hebraic Roots Movement was new to me, and although I knew the Father was walking with me, I felt out of my comfort zone and turned back to the church-a big mistake, but truthfully, I was afraid to follow something I knew nothing about. 

The Father is known for his patience and compassion. He doesn't impose anything on us but waits patiently as we learn and grow in our journey as his children. It took me ten years and a health crisis to finally heed the Father's call and obey him. In the spiritual realm, ten represents the completion of a cycle, indicating that something has reached its final stage. For ten years, I struggled to find inner peace until I answered the call from the Father and allowed the Holy Spirit to guide me on my journey into the Wilderness.

Stay tuned next week for part III-