Growing up in the 60s and 70s was very challenging for me. My siblings and I grew up as latchkey kids with no adult supervision and very little parenting because my Mother was away working.
My Mother was a single parent with six children and two choices. Either work and keep a roof over her childrens head or live from place to place. She chose parentification, meaning she extended the parenting role to an older sibling to take her place while she worked from sun up to sun down.
If you have enjoyed reading my book "The Beautifully Healed Rose," you know my testimony. I've been on my own since age fourteen, so I never learned faithful obedience as a child. Don't get me wrong, my sister did a fantastic job teaching us the basics of right and wrong, and Mother kept us in Sunday School so we received seeds of God's Word within our hearts.
However, experiencing childhood and young adult abuse was no laughing matter. The scars were deeply rooted beyond repair until I received the gift of salvation at the age of twenty-eight, and it would take me an additional twenty-eight years to learn faithful obedience to the Word of God.
Through many tribulations, mistakes, and difficulties, I had to learn how to hear the voice of God and then obey the voice of God. Hearing and obeying the Father's instructions is everything because obedience leads you to righteous living. In comparison, disobedience leads you on the path to destructive living. Take it from me: I learned the hard way that disobedience can cost you everything.
When I lived in Dallas, Texas, and attended a non-denominational church (GT), I thought I was psychologically ready for a spouse. I prayed daily for the Father to bless me with a good husband, and He answered my prayer and gave me a dream. In the dream, a gentleman from my church and I held hands and walked in a beautiful garden. Instantly, I knew who the Father was revealing to me.
I still can't wrap my mind around what happened and how I fell into a cycle of disobedience. It was as if the adversary got wind of what was happening and sent his hordes of demons to distract and confuse me, leading me to total rebellion and disconnection from the Father's instructions. One thing led to another and another, and before I knew it - I fell hard and right into the trap of the enemy.
After the Father exposed me for my transgression, I witnessed "the blessing" God had for me given to someone else. Someone I believed more worthy than me. Sadly, it would take a complete cycle of (7) seven years for the Father to answer my prayer again.
I cannot begin to tell you how humiliated and disgraced I was- if shame had a face, it would have been me at that time—the poster child for guilt and shame. Everyone knew or heard of my fall from grace. However, instead of learning my lesson, I continued on the path to sin, and I was clueless about the fact that when you open the door to sin, it's hard work to close the door again, which is why sin has so many repeat offenders. Sin feels pleasurable for a season, but all hell breaks loose when that season is up.
As stated earlier, it took twenty-eight long years for me to learn how to hear the Father's voice and follow His instructions. More and more people are asking the question, "How do you know when God is speaking to you?"
Here's my 2 cents on learning obedience and hearing the voice of God. The Wilderness: in our next post, I will give you guidelines about allowing the Holy Spirit to lead you into the Wilderness and the benefits of going into the Wilderness. So stay tuned for next week's posting, titled The Wilderness.
Until next time, I pray the Kingdom of God will be with you.
*If you are a non-believer or backslider, I plead with you to please turn back to the Father through Messiah. Repeat this prayer after me -
Heavenly Father, I ask You to forgive me of all my sins and invite You into my heart through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Father, I pray that You will guide me to know you as my Father, Friend, and Judge. Please lead me to the right Fellowship or Church to build relationships with like-minded Believers.
In the name of Messiah I believe and pray. Amen.
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